Of Truth and Purity
by Cairi J
Summary: Unsurprisingly, Ryuk is bored. But Misa visits the Yagami household, and he manages to get a moment to speak to Rem alone. But it turns out she isn't nearly as content as he believed... Oneshot about two Shinigami on a rooftop. Enjoy.


_**A/N:** Well here I am with my first Death Note fic. Seeing as I've always been intrigued by the characters of Ryuk and Rem the Death Gods, I often imagined what they'd end up talking about if they were stuck at Light's house one evening._

_It was going to be a babbly little fic with a bit of dry humour, but it gradually progressed into something long-winded and slightly angsty... eek! I wanted to explore Rem's character in greater depth, and see how her and Ryuk's relationship looked if it was closer than we're let in on. Whether this makes you smile or cringe, have a read - you may like, you may not._

_Oh and... Apologies if it sounds pointless/waffly at first. It gets better as it goes along._

_Well off you go! Make of it what you will. :-)_

* * *

**_Of Truth and Purity_**

Watching them talk… That's all he was doing. His notoriously short attention span didn't really allow him to listen to their conversation any more. All he could focus on now was a small fly buzzing in close vicinity of Light's computer, and the sickeningly strong scent of what he assumed to be that Misa girl's perfume. Why on earth was he sitting around on Light's bed, pretending to listen, when there was a bowl of apples in the corner of the room that would prove to be far more enjoyable?

Sighing in exasperation, Ryuk followed his preference and shoved one of the apples in his mouth. And just to try and provoke some kind of reaction and maybe even something eventful, he back-flipped on the spot and landed feet-first on the ceiling; walking around upside down and sneaking up behind the two young humans in attempt to make them jump.

Despite this, all he received back was an irritable glare from Light.

Hanging pointlessly from the ceiling and feeling more fed up than before, Ryuk spread his leathery wings out from behind his back and, with a glance at Light and the squeaky-voiced blonde thing, he glided out of the bedroom window and into the night air. Surely Light wouldn't mind if he took a small flight? He had a good enough excuse: it was stuffy in there and it positively stank of little human girls. Moreover, they weren't exactly talking about anything exciting.

Ryuk rose above the level of Light's bedroom and flew above the house, his large eyes darting around in the hope that he would see something remotely interesting.

"Would you move? You're blocking my view of the moon."

"Huh?" Ryuk grunted, turning around abruptly. He looked down, only be met with a vaguely irate gaze.

"You have to be stupid not to understand what I said." muttered Rem, not moving from her seated position on the roof of the house. "So I won't repeat it. I'll simply blame it on your non-existent attention span."

The corner of Ryuk's mouth twitched into a wry smirk. He hovered above the house for a moment before landing gracelessly with a thud next to the Shinigami female, and peered at her.

"Stop leering like that – it makes you look dafter than is usual for you." she said dryly, her exposed eye returning to its focus on the luminous full moon in the distance.

Ryuk folded his lanky black arms and raised a brow in mock-indignation. "Ooooh. Guess it's too bold to ask what got _your_ fangs out this evening, Miss Poison."

Rem shot him an infuriated glance. "You're at a loose end again, aren't you? I thought as much. Well, kindly inflict your boredom on something else."

"Why?" asked Ryuk, idly swinging his arms about in front of him. "Believe it or not, you're the only one who's acknowledged my presence in the last half an hour or so."

"Much to my foolishness…" he just about heard her mumble, before she looked back at him exasperatedly. "What do you want, Ryuk?"

"A conversation!" he replied cheerfully. "So what brings you out here at a moment like this? I thought you were pretty keen on chipping in with their plans."

Rem sighed. "They're not talking much about plans any more. Besides, that room is small and stuffy… And that scent-spray Misa uses is a little too strong for my liking."

"Yeah, she reeks, doesn't she? Heh heh…"

He shut himself up when he found that Rem didn't look remotely impressed.

"Seriously, don't you have something better to do?" she muttered coldly.

"Don't _you_?" Ryuk shot back. "What's the matter, huh? I mean, we all know you can mope around and be grumpy at times, but _jeeze_-"

"Alright, shut up." Rem breathed, leaning her chin on her knee. "It's nothing terrible. But I'm sure you feel a bit like this sometimes, what with having to keep up this guardian business."

Ryuk considered this for a moment. "Well… I guess… But it can't all be that bad, can it? I mean… What've you had to put up with that's made you so antsy?"

"As I said, nothing terrible." she replied assertively. "Just…"

Ryuk waited in silence for the conclusion to whatever she was contemplating.

Sitting and thinking things over was not one of Ryuk's favourite activities, but he knew Rem was quite content in doing so for hours – that's what made her perhaps the most calm and quiet of the Shinigami. However, Ryuk was one who was often defined as 'fidgety', and became easily bored when he had to wait for something.

"That Yagami boy really is a bulshy little git, isn't he?"

Ryuk broke into audacious laughter. "I knew there was something else. Well, I know what he's like, but it can't really be helped." He grinned widely and crudely back at Rem, making her lean back in slight revulsion.

"I said _stop leering_. You look perverted."

"Sorry." Ryuk guffawed daftly. "So I guess that little 'If-you-kill-Misa-I'll-kill-you' incident the other day got you a little uptight, huh?"

Rem looked down. For a moment, a grim snarl formed on her face. "I didn't approve of the way he spoke to her."

Ryuk's smile slowly faded as he remembered what she had said about killing Light if he tried to kill Misa. "Were you… actually serious about-"

"Do you honestly think I'd make a decision like that just for a laugh, Ryuk?" interjected Rem jadedly.

There was an awkward pause. Ryuk had indeed spent the last few days since Light and Misa's first meeting thinking about why Rem would do such a thing for a human. He was about to remind her what happened to Shinigami when they broke the rules – and what fate came to Jealous when he did just that – but Ryuk knew that Rem was much smarter than he was, and she would _not_ be amused if he brought up something she already knew full well about.

"Your choice, I guess."

He instantly regretted saying that. Ryuk wasn't usually one to bother himself about what kind of impact he had upon the feelings of others, but he happened to have enough respect for Rem to be concerned about how she felt. He didn't have much of an answer for that, but that was the way it was.

Which is why he felt incredibly stupid when he saw that perhaps Rem, of all beings, suddenly looked rather hurt.

"Yes, it is my choice." she growled, taking him by surprise. "Now unless you're going to stay out of matters that don't concern you, leave me alone. I don't need your opinion on this."

Silence.

He didn't know exactly how he felt about her decision, but he most definitely couldn't have called it contentment. He also didn't know how to think of the way her usual soft, composed voice had - for a moment - rapidly turned harsh and icy. He didn't like that either.

…_Opened my big mouth too soon again,_ thought Ryuk irritably. "Well… I guess it's pretty unlikely that Light would try and kill Misa now anyway, what with your warning… So I really don't think you'll end up having to sacrifice yourself…"

_Blast. Done it again._

Rem ignored him, but her golden eye twitched and glinted in a way that told Ryuk he had better change the subject before she got _really_ aggravated.

"So… What've you been up to?" he said, purely to break the silence. "I bet it's real different being a guardian for a modern human girl instead of a boy."

Rem's uncovered eye closed, and she sighed exasperatedly. "…Obviously. Somehow I don't think Light Yagami drags you around shopping centres."

"He did once." Ryuk replied.

"Did he make you witness the purchase of hideous brightly-coloured garments?"

"Ah… No."

"Then you assumed correctly."

Ryuk's grin re-appeared. "At least you haven't had to put up with this kid making speeches every few hours about how he's going to become a _God of a New World_."

Rem snorted in a way most unlike her. "Hah. How utterly presumptuous. I wasn't far off in my judgment, then."

"Not far." Ryuk agreed. "So have you had to put up with a lot of bad stuff?"

Rem paused for a few seconds. "No. I can't say many negative things about Misa. She does seem to have difficulty just settling down and being quiet, but she's a very… extroverted being. I can't criticize her for having that kind of disposition… Goodness knows it makes up for my own lack of exuberance."

Gazing ahead at the glowing moon, Ryuk chose not to say anything.

"It seems you and the Yagami boy have a similar affiliation," Rem continued, "except the roles have clearly been reversed."

"Meaning..?"

"That he's dull as a plank of wood and you're the over-enthusiastic one who tries to break the monotony with something less so."

"Ah."

There was yet another pause, in which time Ryuk gave her words a few seconds of thought. And he came to a conclusion, too: Rem was right about him and Light, but everything she was saying was sounding more and more like self-contempt, and it confused him. The very fact that she was willing to die for a human still vexed him – For one thing, that wasn't what being a Shinigami was about… But mainly because now she sounded like she couldn't give a damn about it. Ryuk wasn't too sure why, but he _could_.

He glanced at her angular and now noticeably gloomy white face. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you hadn't got a care left for yourself."

"What's it to you if I didn't?" Rem shot back. "Just because you're here on your own selfish whim doesn't mean I have to be."

Ryuk sat up abruptly. "Oh man, don't get like that again. My point is, I've just seen you quite happily put yourself on the line for _somebody else_, and I'm just curious as to why you've been treading all over your own head ever since. D'you regret it or something?"

"No."

"Well…" Ryuk faltered, putting on an awkward smirk, "Then what's with all the blame you're throwing on yourself? There's no point. I mean, you're not even that grouchy."

Her gold eye swivelled round momentarily and narrowed as it had him in its line of sight. "Funny. I had it in mind that you all thought I _was_."

"Nyah, that was just me messin' with you." Ryuk waved his hand about dismissively. "Don't take things so seriously."

"Well forgive me if I'm not the joking type."

Ryuk ran a hand over his face. "…The kid really did piss you off, didn't he?"

She gazed unblinkingly into the night's starry expanse, her skeletal hand emitting a sharp creak as it curved into a fist. Ryuk lowered his brow and studied the side of her gaunt face as it showed no sign of expression. He suddenly found himself wanting to know what exactly was going through Rem's mind; what she wanted to say or do at that precise moment; what she was holding back from him. This may either have been Ryuk being as nosey as was typical for him, or it could have been because he actually _wanted_ to find out so that he could… Well, do what? Rem was solemn, yes, but decisive. Probably nothing Ryuk would do was going to help anything; least of all make her perhaps consider why she was willing to die for Misa; _very_ least of all make her change her mind altogether. So what the hell could he do?

"Never seen you like this." he mumbled. "Why'd you come down to the human world if it makes you so depressed?"

"I'm not depressed." Rem shot back, a little too abruptly. "And this world doesn't depress me. In fact, it's refreshing not to be stuck around a lazy bunch of so-called Shinigami who do nothing but sleep and play meaningless games."

"So _why_ are you looking like you'd rather be anywhere else in the universe but here?" Ryuk almost whined, becoming genuinely disgruntled.

"Do I have to tell you?"

"No, but it'd sure _help!_"

"Help WHAT?"

"HELP ME HELP _YOU, _REM!"

The silence that followed was truly the worst that Ryuk had ever experienced. The two of them were sat facing each other now; their eyes locked onto each other's like a target. Ryuk began to feel what seemed like some crazy kind of frustration, mingled bitterly with the remorse of seeing the expression the female Shinigami now had on her white face. Was it extreme surprise, or worse: inexpressible hurt?

Her mouth hung half-open; her eye widened with a sharp glint. Ryuk didn't think either of them knew what to make of what he'd just yelled out, and he soon felt like the biggest idiot of both worlds.

"Uh…"

She cast her eye downwards momentarily, then back up at him. "...You want to… Help me?"

There was a generally meek kind of disbelief in her voice that showed just how little she had expected this – especially coming from Ryuk, who knew himself well enough to admit he would otherwise never have said anything of the sort to anybody, let alone meant it.

"Well… yeah." he replied. "You never looked so sad before, so how can you expect me to sit back and _not_ think anything serious is bothering you?"

Rem continued to stare at him for a while, before she bowed her head and cast her gaze solemnly to the tiles of the roof they sat on. "There's nothing you can do for me."

Hearing that sentence immediately made Ryuk frown. "Makes you sound as though you're doomed or something."

Her gaze did not leave the roof slate.

"Seriously, what's got you thinking so hopelessly?" said Ryuk as mellifluously as he could. "At least tell me. Whether I can or can't help you is another thing."

…Since when did he become so concerned? He'd never asked someone anything like this before.

Rem sighed again. "I can't argue with that. But…"

Ryuk put on a sideways smirk. "Just tell… 'kay?"

There was a long pause. For a moment she seemed almost inquisitive; suspicious as to why he was asking. Ryuk decided he would let her take her time, regardless of his habit of being impatient. He couldn't rush this – he had to accept that there were others who had a great deal more sensitivity than he did. And while he waited, he observed. In a time lapse of about five seconds that seemed more like five minutes, Ryuk decided to view her as a being in its entirety.

White – that's mostly what he could see. To Ryuk, white seemed like some sort of pure thing. Her frame consisted only of bare bones, but not with any of the traits you'd usually associate with a skeleton; like frailty, or breakability – These traits were human, and mattered little to him. What he saw was the opposite: something resilient yet pure, because she would not tell a lie, and would never bend the rules to meet her own will.

She was pretty much everything Ryuk didn't ever try to be. And that just added to his list of reasons as to why she should never throw it all away for the sake of some human girl's life…

"Misa."

Ryuk snapped out of his thoughts. "Misa? Well I think we have it established that you've got quite attached to the kid. D'you love her?"

Rem raised her head. "Pardon?"

"I said, do you love her? Is that the trouble?"

"No, I don't think so at all." Rem shook her head, seeming justly decisive. "When I say Misa, it's more general than that. It's more to do with how and why I've become so intent on keeping her safe."

Ryuk thought for a second. "…Jealous?"

Her face fell. "I'm led strongly to believe it has something to do with him."

"Aha." Ryuk smiled. "Explain."

She gave him a slightly despairing look. "Surely you'd rather be spared the tedium?"

"Surely you're just making the explanation sound more boring than it actually is?" Ryuk retorted, resting an elbow on his knee.

"Alright." she muttered. "Then yes, I think it's to do with him and his Death Note. I can't figure out how, but his demise changed my outlook on all this. I know what I _would_ have thought when he died for Misa: that it only showed to what extent love can corrupt you and make you do irrational things you never intended. But something didn't allow me to think that. It's almost like…"

Ryuk gave a slow nod. "…Yes?"

"It's absurd."

"Probably not."

Rem studied him through a narrowed eye. Being able to retort back quickly was something Ryuk had always been fairly good at.

"Fine." she breathed. "If you must know… It's almost like Jealous's Death Note brought with it all his views and his fondness of Misa; me being the one to receive it all… And having no choice in the matter."

Ryuk wasn't prepared for this revelation. "You mean to say… Your feelings for Misa… Aren't really your own?"

"I don't know." Rem snapped, but not at him. She seemed frustrated with _herself_.

"Hmm, this is a tricky one." Ryuk mumbled, sidling slightly closer to her, abruptly being eyed up and down. "But it seems to make sense. So this is what's bothering you? The fact that you don't know if your feelings for Misa are actually your own?"

Rem looked down. "I think so. I mean, I want to protect her… But I don't know _why_."

"Guess you girls talk to each other a lot?" Ryuk mused aloud. "Become like… pals?"

Rem shook her head solemnly and slowly. "I don't know how Misa sees me, but it's for sure that we aren't best friends. The only time she really communicates with me on a serious basis is when she wants to ask about morbid things like how to kill Shinigami and how to use the Death Note to its best effect. Other than said conversations, it's _Light Yagami_ this, _Light Yagami_ that… I don't really know how _or_ why I feel this desire to keep her safe. It's unsettling."

Ryuk was rendered momentarily speechless. Now he knew why Rem was so tetchy… Heck, all this would reduce even _him _to a sulking heap. It surprised him – even dismayed him – to think she was just withstanding all this. And now she was putting her life on the line for this wretched girl. Now Ryuk was actually becoming anxious… What if Rem threw herself into death through no true reason of her own?

"Wow." Ryuk uttered, scratching the back of his head. "This _is_ pretty serious."

"Like I said, there's nothing you can really do to help." murmured Rem. "But I told you. That's what's wrong."

Ryuk shook his head. "Not enough. I want to get you thinking in your own mind. Whether Jealous's old thoughts are a proper barrier or something you can resist, just do what YOU think. You're stronger than a hell of a lot of us – you don't have to suffer his fate, and I won't see you do it. So don't take all this too far in – just decide what you're _really_ here for."

Somehow Ryuk's hand had found its way onto her shoulder. He registered the look of sheer bewilderment on her face, but he did not pull away.

"So…" she said quietly, "If I ever found myself, say, going to write the name of a potential killer in my notebook in order to save Misa…"

"I'd come right away and stop you, there and then."

Somewhere behind her obvious astonishment, he saw comprehension start to dawn. She understood him… She was just very, very… taken aback.

For a moment they simply looked at each other with a kind of mutual appreciation. There was a silence, yes… But this one, Ryuk decided, was not at all negative...

"Ryuk? Where the hell have you got to?"

"Rem, it's time to go home!"

They were hissing their commands loudly out of Light's bedroom window. Never had the sound of the two young humans' voices sounded so aggravating and discouraging to Ryuk... And for a moment, he sighted a flicker of disappointment in Rem's pure white countenance as she got to her feet and replied, "Coming, Misa. I'll see you outside the front door."

Ryuk got up too, watching as Rem readied herself for flight.

Then, hesitantly, she turned back to face him.

"Ryuk…" she near-whispered. "Why is it that you're so intent on helping me?"

Another time-lapse made him consider the inquisitive yet somehow gentle way she looked at him. She had probably never had this happen to her before – and she wasn't the only one. But a look into her uncovered eye – gold and somehow beautiful – told him he knew the answer to her question.

"…Isn't that what someone does for their friends?" he finished with a one-sided smirk, and this one held no trace of its usual mockery.

Rem gazed silently back for a moment. And then, for the first time he could recall, she smiled at him.

He heard voices outside the front door. With a last glance back, Rem glided downwards to the road along which Misa was beginning to take her leave. Hearing that same door being shut, Ryuk watched as his pure white friend disappeared down that road, flying alongside someone who she would soon hopefully see as just another human girl.

Ryuk let himself drop through the roof and into Light's room, where the boy had just re-entered. He gave the Shinigami an odd look through narrowed brown eyes.

"Where were you and Rem all that time?" Light enquired, folding his arms.

Ryuk's smile turned back once again into that wide, toothy sneer. "The roof, for a change of scenery. We were talking about weird human habits and what kind of crap we find in your rooms. Your human conversations can get boring, you know."

Light narrowed his eyes even further, before sighing and walking over to his desk. "At least tell us where you're going next time."

"Whatever you say, Light." Ryuk said through a fake grin, watching as the boy set about shutting down his laptop.

Inside, Ryuk was thinking of the most genuine, serene smile he'd ever received. And, repeating themselves over and over, were the last words of the most enlightening conversation he'd ever had.

"_Why is it that you're so intent on helping me?"_

"…_Isn't that what someone does for their friends?" _

It was as true an answer as Ryuk could have given.

But he'd left out a detail. It happened to be the fact that Rem, unknowing of this in her white purity that meant so much to him, was the only 'friend' he spoke of. She was the only one he had… But that was his choice. In his mind, there was no room for anyone else.

He hadn't told her. But, as the lights went out and the humans slept; while the city slumbered and Ryuk was left to his thoughts; he decided he would.

One day.

* * *

_I guess you can look at their relationship in whatever way you like. I'm neutral - I just wanted to make it clear that Rem meant the world to Ryuk, and I'll leave it at that - you can decide whatever. It's all about the reader's perception. _

_Thanks for taking the time to read._


End file.
